Developing Personal Identity and Character

Vocabulary: personal identity, role-model, personality, character, integrity, constructive criticism

Your Personal Identity

Main Idea: Your personal identity describes who you are.

When you first meet someone, you tell that person your name. As you get to know the person better, you may share more information. These attributes are your personal identity, your sense of yourself as a unique individual.

Your personal identity depends a lot on your age and circumstances. Other parts of your personal identity are unique to you. Identity development is one of the most important tasks you will accomplish during your teen years.

How Identity Forms

Identity is partly formed by recognizing your likes and dislikes. Your relationships and experiences with family and friends also influence your personal identity. As you mature, you’ll meet a greater number and variety of people, and will develop your own opinions. As your experiences broaden, you develop likes and dislikes based on how your experiences fit with your values and beliefs.

You may identify a role model, someone whose success or behavior serves as an example for you. Your identity will change throughout your life as your interests change. You will struggle at times with alternatives and choices, but eventually you will develop a clear sense of your own values, interests, beliefs, occupational goals, and relationship expectations.

Aspects of Identity

One aspect of your identity is your personality, a complex set of characteristics that makes you unique. Your personality sets you apart from other people and determines how you will react in certain situations. Although it plays a big role in defining your identity, it isn’t the only thing. Other relationships, such as those with your family, your ethnic group, and even your close friends, also define who you are. These shared characteristics and your unique qualities form your identity.

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The Importance of Good Character

Main Idea: Character plays a significant role in your decisions, actions, and behavior.

An important aspect of your identity is your character, the distinctive qualities that describe how a person thinks, feels, and behaves. Good character is an outward expression of inner values and is a vital part of healthy identity. A person of good character demonstrates core ethical values, such as responsibility, honesty, and respect. Such values are held in high regard across all cultures and age groups.

Traits of Good Character

Six traits are commonly used to describe good character. By demonstrating these traits consistently in your actions and behaviors, you show others that you have integrity, or a firm observance of core ethical values.

Trustworthiness. You are honest, loyal, and reliable-you do what you say you’ll do. For example, if you tell a friend that you’ll meet at a certain time, you try your best to be on time. You have the courage to do the right thing, and you don’t lie, cheat, or steal.
Respect. You are considerate of others and accept their differences. You make decisions that show you respect your health and the health of others. Even if you disagree with another person’s point of view, you use good manners in your dealings with people. You treat them and their property with care and respect.
Responsibility. You use self-control-you think before you act and consider the consequences. You are accountable for your choices and decisions, and don’t blame others for your actions. You try your best and complete projects you start, even when things don’t go as planned.
Fairness. You play by the rules, take turns, and share. You are open minded, and you listen to others. You don’t take advantage of others, and you don’t blame others.
Caring. A caring person is kind and compassionate. You express gratitude, are forgiving toward others and want to help people in need.
Citizenship. Demonstrating good citizenship means you advocate for a safe and healthy environment at school and in your community. You take an interest in the world around you. You obey rules and laws, and show respect for authority.

Working Toward a Positive Identity

Main Idea: You can develop a healthy identity.

You may think that your family and your circumstances form your identity. This is partly true, but you control who you become. As you mature, you will make more personal choices and decisions. For example, you will choose a career. The list in figure 3.7 can help you develop a positive identity.

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Recognize Your Strengths and Weaknesses

To begin to understand your identity, analyze your strengths and weaknesses. Be honest and realistic. If you are a trustworthy friend or a talented singer, be proud of yourself. At the same time, evaluate your weaknesses without being too critical, and set realistic goals to improve. For instance, if you tend to put things off, such as homework, set a goal to develop new habits. With planning and commitment, you can improve habits.

Demonstrate Positive Values

Practicing good character is not always easy, but it helps you build a positive identity. For instance, if you are an honors student who feels pressured to cheat on an exam, that action could harm your self-esteem, your reputation, or both.

Develop a Purpose in Your life

A sense of purpose helps you set goals and work to achieve them. It also provides you with a framework to build a healthy identity. Some of your goals will be short term, like studying for and passing an exam. Others will be long term, such as planning for higher education and acquiring job skills.

Form Meaningful Relationships

Meaningful relationships, such as those with family, friends, and others, are crucial to the development of your identity. Relationships provide a support system that can help you build confidence and develop a sense of security and belonging. Within a meaningful relationship, family, friends, or others may give you constructive criticism, or non-hostile comments that point out problems and encourage improvement. For example, when a friend doesn’t do well at a task, you might make helpful suggestions without judging the way your friend performed.

Avoid Unhealthful High-Risk Behaviors

Risk taking is part of life. Playing sports, taking part in artistic or creative activities, public speaking, and making friends all involve some risk. These risks are healthful. They challenge you to develop skills and to mature in new ways. However, high-risk behaviors, such as using tobacco, alcohol, or other drugs, reckless driving, or joining a gang, are dangerous and harmful.

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Contribute to the Community

Your community is your extended support system. It provides services and resources to meet many of your needs. For a community to remain strong, however, all of its members must participate in making it work. Giving back to the com- munity in the form of volunteering is part of being a good citizen. Volunteering within your community improves the quality of people’s lives, gives you a sense of accomplishment and belonging, and increases your self-esteem.