Key Concepts:

Vocabulary: emotions, hormones, hostility, empathy, defense mechanisms

 

 

 

Expressing Emotion in Healthful Ways

Understanding Your Emotions

Main Idea: Recognizing and acknowledging your emotions is a sign of good mental and emotional health.

Have you ever seen a movie that made you feel happy, sad, or even scared? These feelings are examples of emotions, signals that tell your mind and body how to react. Many times, the most intense emotions you feel will be related to an event in your life. How you respond to your emotions can affect your mental/emotional, physical, and social health.

8 Tips for Dealing with Teen Emotions

Changes during puberty are caused by hormones chemicals produced by your glands that regulate the activities of different body cells. These hormones can make you feel as if your emotions are swinging from one extreme to another. It’s normal for teens to feel overcome by emotions during puberty.

Learning to recognize your emotions and to understand their effects on you will help you learn to manage them in healthful ways. Below are some common emotions.

  • Happiness. Being satisfied and feeling positive are good descriptions of happiness. When you are happy, you usually feel energetic, creative, and sociable.
  • Sadness. Feeling sad is a normal, healthy reaction to difficult life events. These feelings may be mild, like being disappointed because you didn’t do well on a test, or they may be deep and long lasting, such as the grief you feel when a pet or family member dies.
  • Love. Strong affection, deep concern, and respect are expressions of love. Loving someone means that you support the needs and growth of that person and respect the person’s feelings and values.
  • Fear. When you are startled by someone or something, you may feel fear. Feelings of fear can increase your alertness and help you escape from possibly harmful situations. Some people let fear of imagined threats prevent them from taking healthful risks.
  • Guilt. Guilt is the feeling of shame and regret that occurs when you act against your values. Sometimes people feel guilt about situations that they have no control over. For instance, some children and teens may blame themselves if their parents divorce.
  • Anger. Anger is a normal reaction to being emotionally hurt or physically harmed. Anger that is not handled in a constructive way can lead to violence. Another form
    of anger is hostility, the intentional use of unfriendly or offensive behavior. Hostility can hurt others, as well as the hostile person. Often, anger is complicated because it can hide another emotion, such as hurt or guilt.

Managing Your Emotions

Main Idea: Knowing how to recognize your emotions can help you manage them in healthful ways.

Emotions are neither good nor bad. The way you express your emotions, however, can produce good or bad consequences. Learning to express emotions in a healthful way will not only help you cope with emotional upsets, but also helps those around you to better handle their emotions.

Dealing with Emotions in Positive Ways

As a young child, you learned from parents, teachers, and friends how to express your emotions. Some emotions, such as happiness and love, are expressed through facial expressions like smiles and glances, and through behaviors like laughing and hugging. Empathy, or the ability to imagine and understand how someone else feels, is expressed by supporting a friend who is going through a difficult time. You may also have learned that emotions are private if you know people who are uncomfortable expressing their feelings.

No doubt you also learned that people sometimes deal with their feelings in harmful ways. They may exaggerate their emotions, pretend they have no feelings, or even hurt another person deliberately while expressing emotions.

To help you recognize your emotions and express them in positive ways, ask yourself these questions:

  • Why do I feel the way I do about this event?

  • Will this event matter later on in my life?

  • Why should I wait before responding?

  • What can I do to feel better?

  • Who can I ask to help me deal with my negative feelings?

Responding to Difficult Emotions

Feeling bad, or emotional, when things happen in your life is normal. These feelings, however, can be managed. Some techniques to reduce the intensity of your emotions include taking several deep breaths, relaxing your muscles, getting away from the situation until you calm down, analyzing your emotions by writing about them in a private journal, or talking to someone you trust about the way you feel.

Some people choose to manage difficult emotions by avoiding situations that make them uncomfortable. Defense mechanisms are mental processes that protect individuals from strong or stressful emotions and situations. Figure 3.11 lists some common defense mechanisms used to respond to difficult emotions.

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Sometimes you may use defense mechanisms unconsciously as a way to protect yourself from intense emotional pain. You may not even be aware you are using them. Although defense mechanisms can help you deal with emotions for a short time, eventually you will need to work through the problem. Relying on defense mechanisms too long can keep you from facing-and solving-what’s upsetting you.

Some emotions, such as fear, guilt, and anger, can be very damaging. People may respond to these emotions without thinking about the consequences. By analyzing the cause of these feelings, you can learn to manage them.

Handling Fear

Most people are afraid of something. You can overcome some fears by recognizing that you’re afraid and figuring out what is causing this fear. For example, you may be afraid to speak in front of a group, but need to give a presentation as part of a group assignment. For this type of fear, try talking to a friend or an adult who can suggest ways to organize your material and prepare for the presentation.

Other fears such as the fear of going to college or learning to drive a car, :May require the help of resources within your community. If you’re unable to control your fears, consider seeking the help of a mental health professional.

Dealing with Guilt

Guilt is another very destructive emotion. If it is not managed, it can harm your self-esteem. If you feel guilty about something, think about the cause. Have you hurt someone? Admitting a mistake, apologizing, and promising to be more thoughtful in the future can help manage feelings of guilt. Keep in mind that you may not be able to control some situations. Look at the circumstances realistically and honestly. Some situations are out of your control. For instance, if your parents are divorcing, it may upset you, but it’s not your fault.

Managing Anger. Anger is one of the most difficult emotions to handle. As with guilt, it is best to figure out what is causing your anger, and then deal with it in a healthy way. When you first feel anger building up inside you, take time to calm down. You might try deep breathing or slowly repeating a calming word or phrase. If this doesn’t work, physically remove yourself from the situation. Then try one of these strategies:

Do something to relax. Listen to soothing music, read a book, or imagine sitting on a beach or walking through the woods.

Three Teen Brothers | Baltimore Family Photography — REBECCA WYATT ...

• Channel your energy in a different direction. Use the energy generated by your anger to do something positive. Take a walk, go for a bike ride, play the piano or guitar, or write your feelings down in a private journal.

• Talk with someone you trust. Sharing your thoughts and feelings with a trusted friend or family member may help you see the situation from the viewpoint of another person. Not only will you feel better, but the listener also may be able to give you some tips on how to deal with the situation.

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