Foundations of a Healthy Relationship

Vocabulary: relationship, friendship, citizenship, role, cooperation, compromise

Main Idea: You have many types of relationships in your life, and you play different roles in all of them.

As you learned in Chapter 3, one of the most basic human needs is the need to belong and to feel loved. Building and maintaining healthy relationships can help you meet this need. A relationship is a bond or connection you have with other people. Although some people use the word relationship to refer to a romantic involvement, there are actually all kinds of relationships that can be important in your life. For instance, you have relationships with family members, friends, teachers, classmates, and people in your community. All of these relationships can affect your health in ways that may be positive or negative.

Relationships With Family

Some of the most important relationships in your life are with the family members who share your home, such as parents or guardians, brothers, and sisters. You also have family relationships with other relatives, such as grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. One thing that makes family relationships special is that they last your entire life. The friends you have in high school may not be your friends ten years from now, but your family is your family for life.

Healthy family relationships strengthen every side of your health triangle. Parents or guardians take care of your physical needs for food, clothing, and shelter. The love, care, and encouragement they provide are important to your mental and emotional health. They also help build your social health by teaching you the values and social skills that will guide you in all your relationships.

Healthy Eating During Adolescence | Johns Hopkins Medicine

Relationships with Friends

A friendship is a significant relationship between two people that is based on trust, caring, and consideration. Although you probably have many friends your own age, friendships can form between people of any age. You may choose your friends because you have similar interests, because they share your values, or maybe just because they live nearby. Whatever the reason, good friends can benefit your health in many ways. They have a positive influence on your self-esteem and can help you resist harmful behaviors.

Relationships in Your Community

Being part of a strong community has a positive impact on every aspect of your health. It can promote healthful behaviors and also provide resources to help you when you’re in trouble. You reinforce your ties to the community through good citizenship-the way you conduct yourself as a member of the community. Good citizens work to strengthen their communities by obeying laws, being friendly to neighbors, and helping to improve the places where they live.

Roles in Relationships

A role is a part you play in your relationships. In the course of a single day, you may play many roles with different people. You might be a son or daughter at home, a student at school, a friend when you’re hanging out with your buddies, a teammate during gym class, and an employee at an after-school job. For an illustration of how a single person can play many roles, see Figure 6.2.

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Sometimes you can even play more than one role with the same person. For instance, when you babysit a younger brother or sister, you temporarily take on the role of caregiver in that relationship. Your role in a relationship can also change over time. For example, someone you work with might become a friend.

Balancing all the different roles in your life can be tricky. You may feel at times that you can’t handle all the demands being made on you. In such situations, you may decide that you need to focus more on one relationship right now.

Traits of Healthy Relationships

Main Idea: In a healthy relationship, people respect and support each other.

Healthy relationships nurture you. They bring out the best in you and encourage you to make healthful choices in your life. Qualities of healthy relationships include

Mutual Respect. You treat other people with respect, and they respect you in return. You accept each other’s opinions, tastes, and traditions, even if they are different. At times you may agree to disagree instead of trying to force your opinions on each other.

Caring. You treat other people with kindness and consideration. During difficult times, you show empathy and support. You’re also willing to help out others.
Honesty. You are honest and open with others, rather than concealing your thoughts, feelings, or actions.
Commitment. You contribute to the relationship and work to keep it strong, even if it means making some sacrifices. You deal with problems in a positive way and are able to overcome them.

Skills for Building Healthy Relationships

It takes work to maintain a healthy relationship. The people involved need to make an effort to understand each other and get along in different situations. Three skills that can help are communication, cooperation, and compromise-sometimes known as the three Cs of healthy relationships.

Communication

As you learned in Chapter 2, interpersonal communication is the exchange of thoughts, feelings, and beliefs between two or more people. In relationships, people need to understand each other. It’s important to learn effective communication skills so you can express your thoughts, feelings, and expectations to others and understand theirs in return. You will learn more about how to communicate well with others in Lesson 3.

Cooperation

Have you ever had to move a heavy desk or other large piece of furniture? Tasks like this are nearly impossible without cooperation, working together for the good of all. Cooperating with others to reach a common goal can strengthen your relationships. For example, when Jonah and his mom worked together to build a set of shelves for his room, they learned to interact better together and shared a sense of accomplishment in the project.

Compromise

Sometimes, when people in relationships want different things, they may decide to compromise. Compromise is a problem-solving method in which each participant gives up something to reach a solution that satisfies everyone.

The give-and-take of effective compromise strengthens relationships. It allows you to resolve disagreements in a way that everyone can accept. Remember, though, that compromise works only when all the people involved are happy with the solution. You should not compromise on things that really matter to you, like your values and beliefs. The art of getting along with others involves knowing when it’s appropriate to compromise and when you need to stand your ground.

Character and Relationships

In Chapter 3, you learned about the six traits of good character. Each of these traits contributes in its own way to healthy relationships. Here are examples of how each trait can strengthen a relationship.

Trustworthiness. Maribel has promised to go to the movies with her friend Noriko on Friday night. On Friday afternoon, a guy Maribel likes asks her out for that evening. She’d like to say yes, but she doesn’t want to break her promise to Noriko. By keeping her promise, Maribel shows that Noriko can count on her.
Respect. Kyle’s parents have taught him always to listen when someone else is talking and to avoid interrupting. By extending this courtesy to each other whenever they talk, Kyle and his parents improve their communication as a family.

Responsibility. While at a party, Tara accidentally knocks over a glass and breaks it. She immediately apologizes to the host, helps clean up the broken glass, and offers to pay to replace it. Her responsible action improves her host’s opinion of her.
Fairness. Enrique and his brother take turns using their computer to do schoolwork, send e-mail, and play games. Sharing the computer fairly keeps Enrique and his brother from fighting over it.
Caring. When her friend Carl is having trouble with math, Alison offers to tutor him. Carl considers her a good friend for caring about him and helping him out.
Citizenship. Ruby’s family bought a snow blower to help keep the sidewalk and driveway clear. Now, in addition to clearing her own driveway, Ruby offers to do her neighbor’s as well. Her actions improve her relationship with her neighbor and her reputation in the community.